3 WEEKS OLD

 

Quite the personality and such a drama queen.

I'm still adjusting to motherhood, late nights and early mornings, and of course preparing her and myself for the day, making sure we're both dressed and the diaper bag is stocked.

And I'm (slowly) beginning to feel better, but still having issues with my hemoglobin and pain.

Jaselyn has become so alert and beginning to grin.

I just can't believe my baby will be a month old here soon. It feels like just yesterday she was born.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIMI! WE LOVE YOU!

2 WEEKS OLD

 

Jaselyn amazes me everyday. I couldn't love her more.

I learn something new everyday with her.

She hates being naked, cold or being tickled. Loves being swaddled and has a fascination with her hands.

She also finally lost her umbilical cord this week.

She doesn't like pacifiers unless its her Wubbanub and she's so independent trying to hold up her head already. I bet she'll be rolling over in no time.

She has the tendency to kick her feet, a lot, when shes mad so finding both of her feet in one leg of her sleeper is common.

She's truly the best baby I could ever ask for.

SHE'S HERE!/THANKSGIVING 2013

So many beautiful reasons to be thankful. A roof over your head, food on the table and money in your bank account but friends and family come first.  This year, I'm most thankful for this beautiful blonde haired girl I have laying on my chest.

Jaselyn was finally born Friday November 22nd, 2013 (4 days past her due date) at 1:30pm. 6 lbs 2 oz, 19.5 inches long and absolutely perfect. I was admitted the night before at 4cm dilated with contractions every 8-12 minutes and the fun started from there. Two epidurals by 5 am (the first didnt work), a scare around 7am due to her laying on her umbilical cord and her heart rate dropping then completely ready to start pushing around 9am. After three and a half hours of pushing, the doctors gave the option of using the forceps to further assist or the next step would be cesarian. I opted for cesarian and headed to the operating room.

Very overwhelmed, emotional and exhausted, I'm sent to the OR with my Mom beside me in her cute little blue outfit ready and anxious (she almost passed out on multiple occasions) to meet our girl. Long story short, Jaselyn was born not breathing and my one hour surgery turned into three or more due to doctors tearing the broad ligament in my uterus causing me to lose almost two liters of blood and other complications.

Jaselyn and I are fine now. Im a bit sore and and Jaselyn had a touch of jaundice which made us venture to the doctors the following two days after departing the hospital to have blood drawn from her heels to test its level. As of Wednesday, were in the clear and done with testing.

Shes eating every 3-4 hours, enjoys her vibrating chair and laying skin to skin on Mommys chest after her bath. It scares me that my baby won't be a baby forever and I cant believe shes already a week old on Friday or how much shes changed my life.I havent straightened my hair or worn makeup in days and lacking rest, but motherhood looks good on me and shes so worth it.

Besides, nothing feels better than your own mother complimenting how great of a mother you've turned out to be. Thanks Mom.

WAITING : NOVEMBER 2013

We had an ultrasound on Halloween. Jaselyn is locked and loaded, in position and ready to blast off! Already 6 lbs 14 ounces of pure perfection and in the 54th percentile. 

Now we wait. 

Mommys ready, princess!

Youre running out of room and its becoming uncomfortable.

Jaselyn decided she wanted to dance for everyone around 3am.

16 days to go.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

35 WEEKS: 5 WEEKS TO GO!

Jaselyn's baby shower was Sunday and it went amazing. Thanks to my Mom for setting all of this up, my co-workers and guests for helping clean up the hotel and all my friends and family who attended, showering the little princess with such precious gifts. She's spoiled beyond belief.

35 weeks. 5 weeks to go.

(Takes a deep breath)

I haven't been one to complain each week that I'm tired of being fat and pregnant, about the size of my swollen feet, my back hurting or having to pee every few minutes. But I think I've finally reached my breaking point. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted.

Between trying to find a place for her billions of sleepers and onesies, all the while sharing a bedroom I've personally lived in over 23 years of my life. Working a full time job, sitting behind a desk 8 hours a day and dealing with ignorant people. Helping my mother clean, pay bills and maintain a household. Wondering how I'll afford being on maternity leave during the holidays and trying to get my driver's license straight before the first of the year without penalty. Not to mention I'll need a new car that's mechanically sound to transport the baby around, since mine isn't quite reliable as it was when I bought it used 7 years ago. This is just the icing on the cake.

My internal alarm clock has started to wake me up around 8 o'clock in the morning, even when I don't go to sleep til 2 or 3 am, so today I am tired. I barricade myself in pillows at night but my hips and thighs still ache when I wake up. She hasn't flipped into position yet, so the nurses are considering a c-section.  The terrible burning sensation in my throat (acid reflux, I presume) has been making me sick. I've spent all afternoon at work in complete silence, no TV and had not reached for my cellphone 3 hours into my shift, and when I do, it was only to find myself in the bathroom balling my eyes out because 'someone' wants to discuss "joint custody" 1. before shes even born and 2. have not spoken in over a month, nor did this person acknowledge my presence when crossing paths this past weekend. 

I've been preparing myself for her arrival since the moment I found out she existed, while 'you' have done nothing but sit back and portray yourself as "father of the year" to everyone you know. Just remember: actions speak louder than words.

35 weeks. 

That's 35 weeks of you doing nothing, unless it benefits yourself or your family.

35 weeks of your rap music, Netflix and video games being more of a priority than being a father.

35 weeks of your Mother interferring and harrassing since the moment I made the (wise) decision to leave an unhappy relationship.

I want nothing from you. I don't want your child support, nor your insurance.All I want is for you to leave me alone, you've done a good job at that thus far.

Final thought:

"Don't come see me when I'm dead when I needed you when I was alive." - Thanks Darrell.

FATHER

Father. Baby daddy. Sperm donor. Either way you put it, its a sensitive subject.

My parents split when I was 3 months old or so. I've always known his name, who he is and he paid child support. I became old enough to learn, make my own decisions and realize, I was better off without him and my Mother did a good job raising me on her own. At 25 years old, nothing has changed. I've given him the benefit of the doubt to step up to the plate and play the role as a "father", and he has not. I've even given him the chance to be a grand-father to Jaselyn and he apparently has chosen not to. I've done all I can do. All I know is Jaselyn and I have one hell of a support system behind us either way, and I want to thank you all.

On that note, many have asked about Jaselyn's father and I'd rather refrain from anything regarding him. But long story short - we were long-term friends and dated a short period of time. I became pregnant and our relationship deteriorated as we could not get along. In (almost) 34 weeks of pregnancy he has done little to nothing for "us". Lets just say, there's a long road ahead of us but I'm too blessed to stay stressed. 45 days til she's here!

AUTUMN : October 2013

October. Finally. My favorite month of the year. 

Ugg boots. Pumpkin spice lattes. Candy corn. Halloween. 

Pumpkin sized bellies! 33 weeks. That means 7 more to go!

Maternity pictures scheduled for this Saturday and baby shower set for NEXT Sunday. 

I can't wait to see my family and friends.